


There's No One Like Holtz for the Holidays

by StHoltzmann



Series: Holtzy Holidays [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Chanukah, Christmas, First Christmas, Fluff, Gen, Holidays, Lists, Slice of Life, Snapshots, fix-it fic for ourselves, terrible holiday puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:06:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8805553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StHoltzmann/pseuds/StHoltzmann
Summary: If you were possessed of Santa’s panopticon, or if you were, I don’t know, Holtzmann’s girlfriend, here is what you might see during Holtzy’s first winter holidays at the firehouse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You might not think Holtzmann would be that into the winter holidays.
> 
> But the thing is, she has a lot of lonely, dreary, tense, and awkward holidays to make up for.
> 
> Maybe you do, too. Maybe, like a lot of us, it's usually been a not-so-great "most wonderful time of the year." And maybe you're especially dreading this year, with its extra layer of awful. 
> 
> Personally? I'm not visiting family at all this Christmas, so at least I'm not going to make any new bad memories. The old ones like to sit around in my head, though.
> 
> Maybe there are better things to have visions of, dancing in your head. Visions of, say, Jillian Holtzmann's first winter holidays with the Ghostbusters.
> 
> If you were possessed of Santa’s panopticon, or if you were, I don’t know, Holtzmann’s girlfriend, here is what you might see during Holtzy’s first winter holidays at the firehouse.

 

  1. Holtzmann is wearing a button on the (faux!) fur brim of her absurdly long, velvety plush Santa hat. It reads _AXIAL TILT IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON_.
  2. Holtzmann is introduced to Chanukah gelt by one of Erin's (non-awful) former colleagues. Holtzmann is _delighted_ by the notion of chocolate coins and spends an entire week buying all the different brands that she can find (to compare on a 43-point scale of aesthetic detail and taste), along with occasional reenactments of scenes from _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_. (Abby asks why no Smaug. Holtzmann sniffs and informs her "it's not _that_ kind of gold.")
  3. Holtzmann discovers the world of HD Japanese holiday “illuminations” on Youtube, stays up half of the night watching videos, and stays up the rest of the night turning the firehouse roof into a compact but overwhelmingly gorgeous light show. It makes Jennifer Lynch cry. (And not just over their electricity bill.)
  4. Holtzmann is writing a three-page letter detailing proposed improvements to the animatronics in the Saks Fifth Avenue and Bergdorf Goodman holiday window displays. She includes schematics. Saks attempts to take out a restraining order.
  5. Holtzmann has discovered the live video feeds of kittens and puppies in the windows of the Union Square Macy’s in San Francisco. She puts the feeds up on a couple of monitors while she does some mindless work, and winds up stripping an entire spool—two hundred and fifty feet—of wire. (The next day, Abby manages to lunge in front of Holtz and hit _Cancel_ on the Virgin America website where Holtz was in the middle of booking tickets to San Francisco.)
  6. Holtzmann is cheerfully wishing “A merry Mithras and a happy Saturnalia!” to baffled strangers on the street, who mostly forget to be hostile and just stammer out "Same to you--?" (That's the power of dimples.)
  7. Holtzmann has repurposed her main workbench into an assembly line of mechanical toys. She delivers them, and stacks of kids' Arduino starter kits, to an LGBTQ+ children's home. She insists on carrying them in a giant sack over her shoulder.
  8. Holtzmann’s on Youtube again. She’s found videos about working with edible metallic and pearlescent powders, and now she's attempting to be secretive about her attempts to make chocolates shaped like unearthly crystals and iridescent planets to put in everyone’s stockings. Tempering chocolate takes practice, though, and the entire HQ smells like chocolate.
  9. Holtzmann is standing next to an enormous teddy bear in FAO Schwarz, unable to stop giggling because of how much bigger than her it is. The giggling infects the other Ghostbusters first, but pretty soon it's the whole store.
  10. The Ectomobile rolls up. It’s covered in tinsel garlands and a rainbow of sparkling LEDs, and has a red nose on the grille and a pair of enormous glitter-covered antlers attached to the roof. The window lowers and Holtzmann leans out of it. She forestalls questions with a grin and a _shh_ , and hits the horn. It plays “Carol of the Bells.” Not just the main motif. _All_ of it.
  11. Holtzmann discovers the Star Wars Holiday Special. (Patty doesn’t speak to her for a week.)



**Author's Note:**

> I'm hoping to make this a little series of short fluffy bits that I just dash off occasionally in the next few weeks. One or two might be a little bit more mature...we shall see. Let me know what you think! Or if there are any that you think ought to be expanded into a whole scene, if not a story.
> 
> \- ERRATA -
> 
> [Japanese holiday illuminations](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%E3%82%A4%E3%83%AB%E3%83%9F%E3%83%8D%E3%83%BC%E3%82%B7%E3%83%A7%E3%83%B3) (seriously, the good ones are amazing)
> 
> [SFSPCA Macy's kittens & puppies on livestream](http://holiday.sfspca.org/#page-block-mwcdlltixryc2bdzv7bdzehfr) (daytime, PST, during the holidays)
> 
> Yes, FAO Schwarz was still open on Fifth Avenue in 2014.


End file.
